Support to your own Children

Foster carers'own children play an important part in the success of fostering, often being the ones who welcome a new foster child into the home and help them to settle in.

But sharing their home and parents with another child/young person can be hard and foster carers' own children need support to deal with the daily challenges of growing up in a fostering family. Discussions will need to take place about behaviour for everyone, what is acceptable and what is not. During the Form F assessment (or Form C for connected persons) to become approved as foster carers the assessing social worker will take time to speak to any birth children within the household to gain their views. 

Your children, depending on their age, should be part of developing the Safer Caring Plan so that everyone is clear on the boundaries of everyday life to make sure everybody feels safe. See: Developing a Safer Caring Plan.

When children don’t get the support they need, a child’s placement with you is more likely to break down, which leads to more instability for fostered children and impact on your own children. See: A Child's Stay may be Ending Unexpectedly.

You may see disagreements between your own children and fostered children but also fun friendships and memory making for the whole family.

When you consider taking a child, always think about how this child will fit with your family. You can discuss any questions you may have with your Supervising Social Worker who will want to get to know your children so they feel that they can have their say with the Fostering Service and that they have somewhere else to turn to if needed. Surrey fostering service runs a ‘Fab to Foster’ group which is a support groups for the birth children of Foster Carers, post approval. These groups are run by experienced Social Workers and are held in different locations. We aim to empower birth children by giving them the opportunity to share their feelings and identify issues that they want support with. Some of the topics that might be addressed include; managing difficult emotions, dealing with disclosures, talking to peers about fostering, amongst others.

Remember it is important for you to spend time with your own children. You may want to think about a family planner where you agree times, dates and activities you will do with your own children and your fostered child. These can be separately and at times together.

Look out for early signs of problems arising and talk to your child and your fostered child. Speak to your Supervising Social Worker during your supervision meetings or before that if it won't wait.

You may also look for general advice from other foster carers, from support groups, fostering buddies and the Surrey County Fostering Association.

If you feel an issue is getting worse and you need some support, don't leave it and always record any relevant information.

Your children’s views will also be sought as part of the annual review of your approval.