Identity

In order to understand other people’s identity we need to understand our own. This helps us to identify the differences between us and the children that we care for and their families and whether there are gaps that need to be bridged. You and your family should try and spend some time thinking about this before you start caring.

A person’s identity is important, especially for children who feel they are in a minority group and can be made up of a mixture of the things including those below;

• How we look including our skin colour;
• How we dress;
• How we sound and the language that we speak;
• How we smell;
• What we like to eat and drink;
• Our views;
• Our family values and traditions;
• Our religious and political beliefs;
• Our family history and background, including any class we identify with;
• How we form and understand relationships;
• Our sexual orientation;
• Our gender identity;
• Our relationship status;
• Our membership of a particular group.

It is important for you to recognise, support and promote a child/young person’s identity. particularly when they are not living with their own parents and family. Children may need additional support to address inequalities that arise from their identity. For example, they may have poorer health outcomes as the result of adverse social and economic conditions or may be more susceptible to hereditary or other health conditions. They may be disadvantaged in education due to discrimination, unconscious bias or language.

We should not assume that what we do is the same as everybody else. Regardless of our similarities or differences, coming to live in your home will feel very strange for a child.
How you will develop understanding of the child/young person’s background should be addressed in the Placement Plan when a child comes to live with you.

Where children are placed with you from different backgrounds or cultures, you will be supported by the fostering service who will provide additional training and support and information. This will make sure that the child/young person receives the best possible care to develop a positive understanding of their background and heritage.

• The wellbeing and needs of individual children must be at the centre of your practice. All children's achievements must be celebrated and appropriately rewarded;
• The children's day-to-day needs must be met. Children must be treated with dignity and respect;
• The children must experience care that is sensitive and responsive to their family history, identity and culture, including the protected characteristics of age, disability, ethnicity, faith or belief, gender, gender identity, language, race and sexual orientation;
• The care of children is reviewed regularly, and it is ensured that the care plan is being met;
• If any specific type or model of care is required, you will be suitably trained and supervised;
• Specialist help will be made available according to the individual needs of each child, including those who live away from their 'home' authority. This will be identified and implemented through conversations between the team around the child, with the child’s social worker taking the lead. If specialist services from elsewhere are not available, or children are waiting for a long time for help, the Fostering Service will be proactive in challenging and escalating concerns with the child’s social work team and/or other partners;
• All necessary adaptions and equipment will be provided;
• Children must be protected, and helped to keep themselves safe, from bullying, homophobic behaviour, racism, sexism, radicalisation and other forms of discrimination. Any discriminatory behaviours must be challenged, and help and support given to children about how to treat others with respect.
• You should look for ways in which you can promote the child’s identity, and this should be part of plans for children.

Culture is part of a child’s/young person’s identity and heritage. All foster carers should respect and value a child’s cultural heritage.

Culture describes the way people live their lives. Culture is based on many different factors, memories, common experience, background, language, racial identity, class, religion and family attitudes etc.

Sometimes conflicts arise in foster homes between the way you are used to living and the ways that the child/young person is used to. Dilemmas arise about what is the right thing to do. When a young person doesn’t want to follow the way that is expected of them there may need to be difficult conversations to find compromises or solutions.

Examples can be as simple as following family rules such as eating at the table or more fundamental cultural issues such as religious observance. You should talk to the child and their family (where appropriate) to try and understand what their views are and find a way forward. Your Supervising Social Worker and/or the child’s social worker can also provide help.

It is possible that a child whose first language is not English may come to live with you.

Language is an important part of a child’s identity and culture. Every effort should be made to preserve a child’s linguistic and communication skills; otherwise they may lose a large part of their culture and a useful second language.  You should ensure their looked after review and Personal Education Plan meeting plan for how their language skills will be maintained. 

Some disabled children may not communicate in spoken or written English, and you should ensure you receive training so that you can communicate with them.

If you need more information or advice about a child’s cultural and linguistic needs, contact the child’s social worker or your Supervising Social Worker.

The religious upbringing of a Looked After Child is very important and foster carers must be respectful of the child’s religious beliefs and customs.

The right to determine the child's religion is one of the rights all birth parents) retain regardless of the reason the child comes to live with you.

Some parents may express strong preferences about religious upbringing and children’s services should make every effort to find a foster family for the child that will reflect and promote the child’s religion.

A child/young person’s disability or additional needs are a part of who they are and the arrangements that are made to meet their needs are a part of respecting their identity. They should be given opportunities to follow interests, hobbies and activities with children who have similar needs, or with those who don’t.  They should not be defined solely by their disability or additional needs, but equally it should not be ignored or minimised.

Some young people may identify as transgender (i.e. as a different gender from their birth gender) or as non-binary (they may not identify as either male or female). Girls, boys and transgender/non- binary young people should receive equal opportunities and encouragement. Gender stereotypes of behaviour must not be imposed or condoned.

Young people who are considering their gender identity should, in general, be given space and support to develop their own gender identity.  Foster carers can do this by having discussions with children, talking with the team around the child and seeking further advice, for example the Mermaids charity offer information for children and parents/carers. However, it is also important that they are protected from adverse effects such as bullying and discrimination.

Some young people may wish to discuss specialist medical intervention or may require specialist support. Discuss this with your Supervising Social Worker and the child’s social worker so that a plan for support can be agreed.

It is useful to think about all the images, media, experiences and situations a child or young person comes into contact with. For example, when looking at toys, books and media consider whether they have positive images of children who are from different backgrounds, gender or with a disability, or do they promote gender or racial stereotypes

This may seem like a small thing, but it can have a big impact on a child.  It is important for children to see positive images of people who are like them; this is important for things like birthday cards. The Surrey Early Years’ Service has a range of resources that are helpful when caring for younger children.