Helping a Child to Settle Into Your Home

During the preparation and assessment process, you will have had the opportunity to think about, discuss and decide the needs of children you feel you can care for. The terms of your approval are then written into the report that is presented at Foster Panel. When you are approved as a foster carer, your approval terms will include the number and age of children you can care for.

You will have prepared your home and a bedroom for the child (see What happens now I am approved?).

The Fostering duty worker from The Gateway Team, or your Supervising Social Worker, will contact you initially about the placement of a child. Unless you are asked to look after a child in an emergency you will be given some time to consider and discuss with family members whether you are able to care for the child. You should be provided with detailed information regarding the child and their needs. It is important to find out as much about the child and their situation as possible.

When you are asked to consider looking after a child, you should be sent the child’s referral by the Gateway, Access to Resources Team. This document should contain all of the relevant information that you will need in order to match your skill set with the needs and expectations of the child. 

When reviewing the referral and agreeing to look after the child, it is at that time that you should consider whether the match is correct, taking into consideration things like the journey to school, contact (family time) requirements and arrangements, the mix with other children within your home and the compatibility between the needs of the children. If you do not feel you have enough information to help you care for the child please speak with your Supervising Social Worker so they can discuss this with the child’s social worker or Gateway to Resources team.

All children should have been given information about you, your family, and your home before they are placed with you, unless it is an emergency placement.

You may have been asked to complete some information for children which will include photos of you and your home. The child may have also visited you or may have had an introduction period where they were able to express their view about living with you.

A Placement Planning meeting should occur within 5 working days of the child joining your family. It is at that point that any questions you have should be answered and any additional equipment or requests for support should be made and agreed upon. Any delegated authority should be agreed at this meeting. It is advised to obtain any agreement in writing. You should ensure arrangements are made for you to receive essential documents such as the child’s birth certificate, passport, details of Junior ISA, and any benefit claim information (e.g. Disability Living Allowance or Personal Independence Payment).

All these measures will hopefully help to settle a child, but all children will cope differently with moving to you from their parents, family, or other carers.

Children are as unique as the homes we are looking to place them in.

It is recommended that you and your supervising social worker talk to all other members of the household (including children) about the new child to help them adjust.   

Some fostered children will need more reassurance than others; some may be withdrawn or be difficult for a time. It is important that you remain calm whilst reassuring the child and set clear boundaries. If the child is withdrawn you should give them opportunities to have space but also offer times when they can talk to you or spend time with you.

It may be important to give some attention to the child's physical care and belongings. It is recommended that you take an inventory of what a child brings with them and its condition and share this with the child’s social worker. Depending upon the circumstances that have brought the child into your care, there may be essential items in their belongings that are missing, not suitable or they may have clothes that do not fit.

However, this may require sensitivity and patience in some areas and you should avoid appearing critical or dismissive. Remember items may carry sentimental value or may remind children of home or important people. If you need additional allowances to buy essential items please speak with your Supervising social worker.

If the child’s time with you is for a short-term or temporary period when the child 'moves on' make sure that their belongings are moved with appropriate luggage. A child's belongings should never be transported in bin bags or other inappropriate containers. Ask your supervising social worker if you need additional bags or boxes.

It is crucial to speak to the service regarding exhibited behaviours and discuss how best to approach children, being mindful of their previous experiences. All children are unique and responses must be bespoke. Some children may be on their best behaviour and be fearful to show how they feel in case you send them away.

Your Supervising Social Worker and the child’s social worker are there to help you through this - remember, discuss the difficulties as they happen and keep a record!

Your own family will also take time to adjust. Your children may feel neglected by you because some of your time is given to another. Your children may copy bad behaviour and may become defensive of you. It will be useful to look at all this when you are developing your Safer Caring family policy. See Developing a Safer Caring Plan. You should explain to the child the general rules of the house and what is expected of them.

The following information will be useful and should be gathered from the child's social worker and parents where possible:

• What the child prefers to be called or the name the child wishes to be known by;
• What do they like to do and what do they not like? What hobbies and interests do they have?  
• If it is a very young child, do they have a dummy or a comforter - like a teddy or a blanket? What is it called? Older children may have a comforter but may be embarrassed about anyone knowing;
• Clothes and belongings are important; if they bring any with them don't throw them away (some items may be a part of the child's memories). As appropriate, encourage them to choose with you what to wear;
• A child may be uncomfortable bathing or undressing in front of a stranger – be sensitive and find out what the child is used to;
• People who are important to the child and their relationship to him/her including friends;
• Food - likes, dislikes, routine, special religious or cultural preferences;
• Bedtime routines including nightlights, doors open/shut etc.
• Skincare;
• Pets, likes and dislikes and fears;
• Hobbies and interests, clubs and activities;
• Things that they are frightened or, or worried by;
• Medical information and allergies;
• Any communication difficulties;
• Any specific equipment e.g. if the child has a disability.

For all children, you should:

• Speak to the child's Social Worker to get as much information as possible about the child and their needs, including in relation to any disability or additional needs:
  • If need be seek specialist advice/feedback from other professionals who know the child, (e.g. a medical or CYPMHS practitioner; teacher, etc.);
  • Find out about any specialist plans, e.g. Education Health and Care Plan;
  • Treat them as children firstly and foremostly;
  • Be clear about the child's strengths;
  • Discuss with the child/young person the areas that you have an 'enabling role' with them.
• Be clear with the child where they will need your assistance, support and time – seeing some of these as areas for their future development;
• Ensure you have support from your Supervising Social Worker;
• Look at where there are relevant & appropriate community parents'/carers' support groups;
• Have realistic, expectations of the child and set clear boundaries;
• Stress the positive things a child can do;
• Praise the child, and reassure them (as appropriate);
• Encourage the child to take part in a wide variety of activities;
• Enable/support them to play and mix with other children;
• Help them become as independent as possible;
• Engage in training opportunities that will broaden your skills.
• Provide them with their own mug, personal items, flannels, towels, slippers etc.
• Show them what they are allowed to help themselves to by way of food, snacks, toiletries etc.