Contact (Family Time) Between the Child, their Family and Others

For most children, relationships with family members, previous carers, friends and others are valued. Contact can be very important in helping children develop their sense of identity and understanding their lives.

We have developed some principles in relation to children’s time with their family which are laid out in our  Surrey Children's Services Procedures Manual, Supervised Contact Policy

• Surrey County Council recognises that contact is extremely important and beneficial to both the child and their birth families;
• Our Corporate Parenting strategy sets out our promise to children and care leavers, within this we promise our young people that we will do our upmost to “to help you keep in touch safely with the important people in your life”;
• We are committed to ensuring that contact is needs led for the child and is a safe and positive experience for both children and families;
• We are committed to ensuring that this process is child first and feels comfortable and natural for our children to ensure they benefit from safe contact with their birth families;
• We acknowledge that contact is not possible or beneficial to all children and we will always work to put the needs and safety of our children first.

Contact with family and friends will be set out in the Placement Plan. This will detail where, when and how contact will take place including whether it will be supervised. When you are first approached about caring for a child, it is essential that you give careful consideration to whether you and your family will be able to manage the level of contact required before you agree to care for the child.  You will be supported to help children to have appropriate and carefully managed contact (direct and/or indirect) with their family, friends and other people who are important to them, such as including, if desired and appropriate, previous carers. 

Contact may take place in the foster home or somewhere else depending on what might be best for all those involved such as contact/family time centres or in the community. A risk assessment will be undertaken to consider how foster carers are involved in family contact, including if family time is to take place in the foster home. Foster carers will be consulted before any decision is made about facilitating family contact in the home. 

As a foster carer, it is your role to promote and provide practical and emotional support to children before and after their family time (and during if necessary). It is expected that foster carers usually transport children to and from their family contact in order to provide familiarity and consistent emotional support from someone who knows best how to respond to distress, or the other emotions that their time with family may invoke. A mileage payment is made for all journeys.

If it is considered appropriate by all parties for a foster carer to supervise family contact, their supervising social worker will ensure the foster carer understands the expectations and receives appropriate support, including training. Detailed observations and recordings may be needed, particularly if the child’s case is in court proceedings.

It is recognised that it is difficult at times for foster carers to balance the needs of all children in the household. Therefore, the fostering service will consider circumstances for individual children and carers where taking children to and from their time with family is practically difficult and will work with the foster carer to find solutions on a case by case basis. Any concerns must be discussed with the Supervising social worker and child’s social worker and should not be a reason for declining a child to come and live with them.

The child’s social worker will provide you with the necessary information including any assessment of risk, for those involved.  The child’s welfare is always the paramount consideration. The needs, wishes and feelings of the child are also important so when planning contact they should be sought.

This may involve using advocacy or other ways to understand the child’s views. It may be useful to ascertain how the child communicates with others (this may include mobile phones or other social networking sites and apps and consoles such as Xbox or Playstation) so that this can be taken into consideration and an agreement reached about how safely to do this (see: Internet, Photographs and Mobile Phones).

It may be necessary for family contact arrangements to change during the period the child lives with you. Changes can only be made after thorough discussions with everyone involved or when directed by a Court. The Fostering Service through your Supervising Social Worker will give you practical advice and support including financial help where needed to make sure family contact is appropriate and safe. This includes a mileage allowance for any travel to and from family contact.

Face to face meetings and visits will generally be the best way of maintaining relationships, but other means such as letters, phone calls, photograph exchanges, cards etc. can also be beneficial.

You should also talk to the child's social worker to explore how electronic communication, such as video calls, can support positive relationships for children. Children should be supported to ensure they are safe online, rather than this form of contact being avoided. Childnet have produced some helpful information to help foster carers consider contact with a child/young person's family using social media and digital devices.

It is important that all children, maintain their links with their family, friends and community so that their cultural identity, customs, religious beliefs and history is encouraged, developed and valued.

It is not unusual for children to ask to have contact with relatives or friends they may have lost touch with before becoming Looked After, or with former foster carers. If this happens speak to your supervising social worker or child’s social worker.

You should record the behaviour and reaction of the child before and after family contact. This may identify patterns which can contribute to future decision making. You should discuss contact in your supervision meeting with your Supervising Social Worker so that problems can be identified and hopefully resolved.

Contact can increase a child’s sense of security, especially when the people who are important to them are comfortable with each other. This can also help parents and other family members to feel less awkward and threatened.

Whilst every effort is made to enable siblings to live together this may not be possible or appropriate.  In these circumstances it is important that arrangements for the siblings to keep in contact are set up. If the child’s siblings are placed with other foster carers it is important to establish a relationship with their carers early on to facilitate the children’s contact.

The child may be allowed to visit their birth parents at home. These visits, which may include staying overnight, must be planned in advance, with and through the child’s social worker.

Sometimes the child may appear anxious and upset by a visit. This may be because the visits:

• Remind them of feelings of loss and separation;
• Remind them of feelings about past experiences;
• Highlight feelings of divided loyalties.

If you have any concerns at all you must speak to either your supervising social worker or the child’s social worker.

Confidentiality

Working with parents is an important part of fostering. A vital element of this is trust and confidentiality.

In sharing the care of a child, you will receive a lot of confidential information which you may wish to share with those closest to you; you should agree with the child’s Social Worker what, if anything, can be shared.

You may also talk to other carers about children you are caring for in general or to seek support. You should remember to treat any discussions in confidence and children should never be specifically identified or named. The Surrey County Fostering Association can provide advice.

Problems with Family Contact

Family contact can cause distress and upset for a child/young person and you are often the person who, in the first instance, has to deal with this when a child feels confused, angry or disappointed. You may also have mixed emotions when this happens.

You may feel that the family is letting the child down, but, there could be many reasons for this.

• The family may feel guilty or angry that their child is in foster care;
• A child may have been placed in an emergency when the family was experiencing problems;
• Parents may feel angry that their children are living with you if this is against their wishes and resent having to comply with plans they don’t agree with;
• Parents can also worry that you will take their place in the child’s life and may have heard in the media about foster carers wanting to adopt fostered children;
• Parents may also feel they have let their child down which can impact on their motivation and reliability.

These reasons and feelings can lead to parents behaving in ways which appear inappropriate during contact. They may be very emotional, give the children unrealistic messages or make promises.

Understanding the parents’ experience can help you to make sense of the situation for the child as well as the family and will help you support the child Your Supervising Social Worker will offer support and advice about how to manage your feelings so that you can emotionally and practically support the child.

Any restrictions on communication by the child with their parents should be agreed by the child’s social worker and reviewed alongside the child’s wishes and feelings.

If you feel that changes should be made to contact to protect the child from Significant Harm the child’s social worker should be told immediately or within 24 hours. If the child returns from contact and you are concerned in any way about something that has been said or done particularly if you think it has harmed the child in anyway, you must report this to the child’s social worker or a duty worker in their office immediately or within 24 hours.