Bullying

Everyone involved in looking after children shares responsibility for countering bullying and for creating a culture which positively encourages acceptable behaviour and reduces or prevents the likelihood of bullying.

Remember bullying can have a detrimental effect on a child’s wellbeing and can lead to poor self-esteem, depression, self-harm and suicidal thoughts. The team around the child must take bullying seriously.

Children may receive information and advice from school, or the User Voice and Participation service on dealing with bullying.

As a foster carer you should look out for signs of bullying and have conversations around this subject to help children understand the forms it takes.

Your Safer Caring Plan should address bullying and cover

• Putting in place clear rules within the house that bullying is not acceptable and what will happen if you suspect bullying or are told of bullying happening;
• Helping children understand and learn what is acceptable behaviour
• Providing opportunities if appropriate for children to think about the issue of bullying e.g. writing stories or poems or drawing pictures about bullying; ensure feedback is given to the child’s social worker about anything significant that comes up;
• Enable discussions about bullying and why talking about it matters;
• Being good role models as the adults surrounding the child.

Many Looked After Children are more vulnerable to bullying at school, in the local area and sometimes from other children in the foster home for a variety of reasons.

Bullying can include:

• Emotional - being unfriendly, excluding or isolating someone, tormenting (e.g. hiding possessions, threatening gestures) in person and on-line;
• Physical - pushing, kicking, hitting, punching or any threat or use of violence;
• Racism - racial taunts, graffiti, gestures;
• Sexual - unwanted physical contact or sexually abusive comments and harassment;
• Transphobic / Homophobic or remarks about identity - because of, or focusing on the child’s sexuality, gender identity or other identity;
• Verbal - name-calling, sarcasm, spreading rumours, teasing, constant criticism;
• Cyberbullying - e.g. using mobile phones (including making silent, hoax or abusive calls or text messages) or social networking sites to intimidate or bully others. The NSPCC has some helpful information on cyberbullying;
• Bullying someone because they have a disability.

See also: School and Education Procedure and Internet, Photographs and Mobile Phones Procedure.

Some signs of bullying can be:

• Not wanting to go to school;
• Physical injures / Unexplained bruises;
• Torn clothing;
• Need for extra money;
• Continually losing belongings;
• Problems sleeping;
• Sudden loss of appetite;
• Problems at nursery/school/ college/placement;
• Not doing as well in school/college;
• Withdrawn behaviour/ being nervous or losing confidence or temper tantrums;
• Unusually hungry at the end of the school day (lunch money being taken);
• Rushing to the bathroom after school (fear of going to the school toilets);
• Self harming;
• Child appears worried by messages on phone;
• Bullying others.

The bullying may be because:

• The child feels and/or appears different. School life can highlight difference, they may arrive at school by taxi, they may not be able to take part in after school clubs, and they may be withdrawn from some lessons to attend meetings;
• The child may not be achieving as well as others in their class;
• The child may have had lots of moves of carer or school;
• The child may not have a friendship group;
• The child may not want others to know that they are looked after;
• The child may feel isolated and think they have no-one to talk to at school;
• Difficult and distressing life experiences may have left the child with poor self-esteem and a lack of coping mechanisms.

Bullying within the home environment

If you have any concerns that incidents of bullying have occurred between children within the foster home or that a child may be a victim of bullying or is being a bully, you must discuss this with your Supervising Social Worker, who should advise you on what actions are necessary to reduce or prevent it. They will decide whether to inform the child’s social worker (with a view to implementing supportive discussions involving all social workers and the fostering household).

Restorative Approaches will usually be used to discuss the harm that has been caused and how to repair it.

• Give time and space daily to the child/young person to check how things are going for them and encourage them to talk about their day, seeking to identify whether things are better, still persisting or worse for them;
• Continue to act on the advice from the child’s social worker and other professionals on ways to help build the child’s self-esteem, (there is also training available);
• Help the child think about what to say to help explain why they are not living with their parent(s) – this is more common than they may think;
• Encourage friendships and invite school friends home. Bullies may target a child who is alone;
• The child should be supported to adopt coping strategies;
• Do not reject a child who is a bully; reject the behaviour. Explain how the behaviour makes other children unhappy and help them develop other ways to feel better about themselves and to express how they feel;
• Give the child praise each time they help you or are kind to someone;
• If it is a school related bullying issue, contact the school (Designated Safeguarding lead), or contact the child’s allocated Virtual school Education Support officer (ESO) or social worker to discuss on the child’s behalf;
• Make sure that you and the other people promote positive behaviours;
• Cyberbullying - Report bullying to the social media platform and / or online gaming platform – do not stop them from using their mobile phone or the game. Make sure a child knows how to block an offender;
• Report hate crime.

Children can be reluctant to report bullying for fear of reprisal or because they think they will not be listened to. You must make a point of listening and talking to children about bullying in order to help them report it.

When a child says they do not like something which another child/young person, or adult is doing/saying to them, they must be listened to and taken seriously. Even if you do not view the action as serious, the child may.

You must record all incidents of alleged bullying in the daily records of the child who is the alleged victim and the child who is the alleged bully.

The child's placement plan should then be reviewed by the workers around the child/young person with a view to incorporating strategies to reduce or prevent future incidents. Specialist support may be considered from outside of the placement to the child or young person to help them come to terms with what they have experienced and increase their self-esteem.

See also: Recording and Information Sharing Procedure.